


can i be your boyfriend, can i?

by junfhongs



Series: simple is sexy, baby (whoa). [3]
Category: NCT (Band), NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Competition, Fluff and Crack, House Cleaning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 07:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14744769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junfhongs/pseuds/junfhongs
Summary: … in which two people fought for the affection of the man they loved (liked,in the case of the other) through the only method of competition that their tipsy selves could come up with: cleaning.





	can i be your boyfriend, can i?

"Yo, Hwang."

Minhyun groaned when Dongho sat beside him and pulled his head up using his hoodie. "What do you want?"

"You've got competition," Dongho said quietly as he pointed at the two people who were sitting at the back of the class, seemingly too absorbed in conversation to realize that Minhyun was gaping at them.

It was Jonghyun—Minhyun's long-time crush, Jonghyun? Yeah, that one—and he was with _some dude_ instead of sitting beside Minhyun as he always had for the entire semester they shared this class. Minhyun squinted at them.

"Is that… Lee Taeyong?" Lee Taeyong, the not-so-hidden fixation of the anime club—Minhyun snorted every time he remembered that Jonghyun almost became the president of that—was known for being drop-dead gorgeous and super intimidating, though it only took one short observation for Minhyun to completely banish that idea from his mind.

And at the moment, Jonghyun was staring at him as if he were spitting the stars out of his mouth. Minhyun tried to recall the last time Jonghyun gave him even a single _speck_ of attention along that wavelength; they were probably drunk and Jonghyun probably thought he was someone else. Minhyun was truly fighting a losing battle, huh?

"It's over," Minhyun mumbled, sinking into his seat, "I'm done."

"Don't give up!" Aron clapped his shoulders and started kneading into the tense muscles, as if he were preparing a boxer for the next round. "Besides, it's not over until… until Taeyong gets Jonghyun's number!"

As if on cue, they both whipped out their phones, laughed at their probably similarly nerdy wallpapers, and typed their numbers in. Minhyun sank even deeper into his chair. "Does anyone have any more prophecies to declare? Maybe next time, it won't be over until they start making out right in front of us?"

"Don't tempt the universe, idiot." Dongho pinched his shoulder. "You know, you wouldn't have this problem if you actually hit on Jonghyun properly."

Minki stared blankly at Dongho. "Have you ever _seen_ this idiot when he tries to hit on Jonghyun?"

"Constantly," Aron deadpanned.

"Please stop him next time," Dongho mumbled into the palm that was covering his face.

"Exactly. Minhyun's trying his best, but Jonghyun's painfully oblivious," said Minki. "Maybe that's a good thing! Taeyong will have to go through the thousand-year hurdle of Jonghyun's stupid ass, just like the entire league of dudes who have tried to hit on him too."

They all took their seats when the professor got to the lecture hall. Minhyun stared at the far distance. The only thing in his mind now was his last sight of the two before he had to turn away, the visual of Jonghyun leaning forward with a coy smile to hear what Taeyong was quietly whispering to him while Taeyong gazed at him with soft eyes. It was… so soft and _so annoying_ and this—

_This meant war._

 

 

———

 

 

He couldn't actually declare war, not when his arch nemesis was now a fixture in their lunch table. On that very first day of contact, Jonghyun already managed to rope Taeyong into sitting with them in between classes, causing Minki and Dongho to kick both of Minhyun's shins _simultaneously_ as they spotted the not-couple walking towards their usual spot.

"Hey!" greeted Jonghyun, though his eyes narrowed at the way Minhyun doubled over and groaned before glaring at his friends. "Everyone, this is Taeyong. He's going to sit with us."

"No, I—" Taeyong chuckled awkwardly before backing up. "I don't want to impose."

"You're not, Taeyong." Jonghyun put down his tray and took Taeyong's wrist, squeezing lightly. "It's fine, _right, guys?_ "

The way he emphasized those words as he looked at his friends with wide, suggestive eyes told them to nod and make space for the two. Minhyun felt himself deflate as they sat right in front of him, taunting him with their easy conversation despite the fact that they still couldn't make proper eye contact with each other.

It was so… _so stupid!_ And yet… so cute. And Minhyun was just happy that there was someone on this table who could listen to Jonghyun's weird rambling over his interests and actually understand what he was saying. Taeyong seemed to be genuinely interested in Jonghyun's words, in Jonghyun _himself,_ and who was Minhyun to go between that because of his stupid little crush on his friend?

It didn't get any better over the next few days, since apparently the two shared more than one class and basically decided to stick together for most of their days. Minhyun was stuck with the rest of his friends, who were significantly less attractive than Jonghyun and _completely useless_ in matters of the heart.

"I give up!" Minhyun moaned, dramatically draping himself over Dongho's lap.

"Get off. I've heard this speech _four times_ in the past week, and I'm not listening to it again," grumbled Dongho.

"Maybe I'll just… let Taeyong win, you know? I mean, he treats Jonghyun well. Jonghyun likes him. Taeyong's… a good fit." Minhyun sighed. "He's a much better fit for Jonghyun than _I_ am, at least."

Minki kicked Minhyun's shin, but apparently his overdramatic speech made him numb to any pain other than the pain of _heartbreak—_ and if Dongho heard him wail about that again, he was going to receive double the dose of that kicking. "Minhyun, don't be an idiot. You like Jonghyun just as much, for _way_ longer than the week that they've known each other."

"And it's not like you've ever told Jonghyun how you actually feel," said Aron. "If you confess and he said no, then that's when you give up. But it's not fair to you or to Jonghyun for you to quit and let him go without even giving yourself a shot!"

Well, apparently his friends _were_ somewhat useful in the matters of the heart. Minhyun stood up with purpose driving his every movement. "You're right. I… I have to tell Jonghyun how I feel!"

"Go get 'em!" cheered Minki, though he gave Dongho a sly look that made Dongho sigh before handing Minki the money that they betted on.

Before Minhyun could make any rash actions, they all received a message simultaneously. "It's from Seongwu," said Dongho. "He's telling us to go to his apartment?"

"All at the same time?" Minki raised an eyebrow. "That's suspicious."

"Suspicious enough for me to guess that his kind roommate, Kim Jonghyun, is going to have a heart attack when he gets home." Aron laughed as he got his coat from where it was hanging. "Come on, let's go save Jonghyun's apartment from Seongwu's stupidity."

'Seongwu's stupidity' involved more than thirty people crammed into their two-bedroom apartment, making a mess of the place while getting drunker and drunker with each passing second. Minhyun felt himself growing faint at the atmosphere of the place, and when he looked to his sides, all his friends had already been whisked away. Amazing.

Minhyun busied himself with something non-alcoholic— and he pointedly ignored how Seongwu laughed at him as he passed by before going off to another area of the apartment, probably to put out a fire or cause one himself. Minhyun seriously didn't know how Jonghyun could handle this guy on a daily basis.

Just when Minhyun was about to give up and go home, he spotted two people by the doorway, gaping at the mess of the apartment. Minhyun would have loved to walk over to Jonghyun and laugh at his horror, but he was more distracted by the way Jonghyun held Taeyong's wrist— _again with the wrist, damn it_ —and by the fact that Jonghyun actually _brought him to his home._

Taeyong laughed shakily and placed an arm over Jonghyun's shoulders. "Relax," Minhyun saw him mouth. Jonghyun looked distraught as he found Minhyun's eyes and shook his head at the state of his apartment.

Unfortunately for him, Seongwu was an enabler who couldn't care less and handed them some drinks to help loosen them up. Jonghyun sighed and decided to join in, dragging Taeyong along as he attempted to get himself drunk enough to enjoy even a second of this party.

Minhyun sighed. _That's enough disappointment for the day._

He contented himself with hiding in the kitchen; it was just as crowded, but people got out as soon as they picked up their drinks. Minhyun didn't have to stare at a random drunk dude for longer than necessary, and surprisingly, no one was making out against the counters or anything, so that was good. The party was starting to die down, and he decided that this was going to be his haunt until he found Dongho and they could run away from this nightmare.

And unfortunately for _him,_ the person who managed to find him first… was Lee _fucking_ Taeyong. _What luck._

"Hey," said Taeyong. "Fun party?" He seemed to be standing too upright for someone who had actually been participating in Seongwu's stupid drinking games, so Taeyong probably wasn't an idiot who fell for Seongwu's crowd control tricks.

"I don't drink, so I can't convince myself that I enjoy this," Minhyun said dryly. Apparently, Taeyong liked that humor. Or, well, Minhyun saw him laughing most of the time when he was with Jonghyun. He probably just laughed a lot. That was entirely possible; Taeyong was a stranger who was full of surprises.

"Me neither," Taeyong answered. Minhyun didn't.

Instead, Minhyun decided to fall back on his defense mechanism and started cleaning obsessively. Taeyong looked at him oddly before shrugging and joining in, quickly locating the trash bags in the cupboards and picking up empty cups along the way. The two of them were starting to pick up the pace now, making quick work of the discarded bottles, right until the last one that they both gripped aggressively.

"I got it first," hissed Minhyun.

"It's _fine;_ I have space in my bag," Taeyong said. He narrowed his eyes at Minhyun's. "What's your deal?"

Minhyun shrugged. "I don't have a deal. You don't even need to be cleaning, Taeyong. You're a _guest_ here."

"Well, so are you!" Taeyong retorted.

"I—" Minhyun didn't know how to answer that, but he counted on the slight buzz and the courage those three sips of mixed drinks gave him. "I've been their friend for much, much longer. This place is more like home to me than it is to you!"

"Oh, so _that's_ what this is about." Taeyong rolled his eyes. "You're being petty because you think I'm stealing your friend!"

"I'm not being petty! You _are_ stealing my friend!" Minhyun snatched the bottle from Taeyong as Minhyun's outburst caught him caught by surprise. "And that's my friend who I _love,_ so I have all the right to be as petty as I want to be."

"So you admit it: you _are_ being petty." Taeyong was swaying now; maybe… he did have a little more to drink than he estimated? Who cares; they were in the middle of _war_ right now. Taeyong poked Minhyun's chest harshly. "And you know what? I've known Jonghyun for a week, and I _like_ him. I like him a _lot_."

They stared at each other for what felt like forever, heavy breathing and shaky stances taking over all their senses. Minhyun huffed as he walked over to a cupboard. "I'm taking all the cleaning supplies," he said, almost _mockingly_ as Taeyong gaped at him and frantically looked around for something to use.

Taeyong gripped his trash bag and the can of air freshener that someone left on the counter. "I've got _all I need,_ " he hissed, and then the games began.

By 'games,' they meant 'cleaning methods that may or may not be excessive.' Actually, it was very excessive. It was downright _competitive,_ if competitive cleaning were actually a thing. Within a few minutes, they managed to make the kitchen and dining area absolutely spotless, shooing away any of the remaining partygoers as they wiped down tables and threw waste and rearranged furniture like they were on a mad race.

Taeyong sighed as his can ran out and he was forced to throw it into his bag, but he could be bothered to feel disappointment when something absolutely _disgusting_ caught his attention. Taeyong sniffed around and groaned as he lifted a vase. Minhyun stared at him oddly. "Is that—"

"Yep. Vomit." Taeyong sighed and closed his eyes, but they fluttered open as he felt movement in front of him. It was Minhyun, taking off his gloves and handing him the rest of his cleaning supplies with absolute pity in his eyes.

Minhyun patted Taeyong's shoulder and yelled, _"Not it!"_ before running away as Taeyong lamented the impending death of his olfactory system.

 

 

———

 

 

Jonghyun woke up slowly, just a little extra groggy from the drinks he had last night. Seongwu was going to take a beating from him later, but for now, he had to deal with the initial aftermath: the mess. Fortunately for him… it was all gone.

"Holy shit," he whispered, gazing upon the immaculate state of his living room. Was this real? Was everything… truly as it was supposed to be?

Apparently not, as he nearly fell on his face as his foot caught on someone's leg. That _someone_ was Hwang Minhyun, sleeping on the floor as he hugged a broom. Even _more_ peculiar was the sight of Lee Taeyong on their couch with a pair of rubber gloves shielding his eyes from the sunlight.

Taeyong woke up first, and he threw the gloves down on the floor when he took one sniff at it. The pair fell on Minhyun's face, and he woke up with a jolt too, the two of them glaring at each other before they realized that they had an audience. "Good morning?" Jonghyun said quietly. "Did you two do this?"

"What? The cleaning?" Minhyun chuckled and tried to shove Taeyong out of Jonghyun's view. "Of course I did; I wouldn't let you die cleaning up that mess on your own."

"Yeah, _we_ did," Taeyong emphasized, and he shoved Minhyun's big head right out of the way in retaliation.

Jonghyun stared at the two, failed to get a reading of the situation, and shrugged before turning away. "Alright, thanks. Do you want anything for breakfast?"

"Wait—" Minhyun called out. Jonghyun turned back curiously. "That's _it?_ I cleaned up for over fifty people in less than an hour and that's all I get?"

"I cleaned out vomit!" Taeyong yelled. "From a vase! A _vase_ full of _vomit_ , Jonghyun!"

Jonghyun laughed at the two and walked back towards them, patting them on the head gently before walking backwards with a big grin. "Thank you. Both of you," he said sweetly, "and now for breakfast—"

They couldn't really hear him by the time he got to the kitchen. Taeyong and Minhyun sat there in silence, cheeks colored a pretty pink as they recalled how Jonghyun smiled at them, like they both brought the moon and stars down for Jonghyun to gaze at and adore while they were too busy adoring him.

"Hey," said Taeyong, "did you clean the bathroom?"

"Not yet." Minhyun shuddered. "That's bound to be disgusting."

"… It would make Jonghyun happy though." Taeyong shyly looked at Minhyun and smiled. "Truce?"

"Just for now," said Minhyun as they shook hands. "After this, it's _on._ "

"Oh, you can count on that." Taeyong smirked. _This was war._

**Author's Note:**

> seriously im a mess right now i have no explanation DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY DONT TAKE //ME// SERIOUSLY
> 
> also hey y'all !! the jonghyun/taeyong tag is real now !!!!! it's not just my weird crackship tag !!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> inspired by this [blessed cc ask](https://curiouscat.me/junfhongs/post/431952359?1524749634)
> 
> title from exo-cbx - blooming day
> 
> follow me on [twitter (@amenochieien)](https://twitter.com/amenochieien) or talk to me on [curiouscat (/junfhongs)](https://curiouscat.me/junfhongs)!!


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